Sunday, 20 May 2018

Colour Blind

It turns out that women and men don't see eye to eye, at least when it comes to the color spectrum.

How men and women perceive colour, which is linked directly to the X chromosome and allows women to distinguish between different shades of colour better. 

No wonder the gadgies leave the home decor to the ladies...

Well Said

He talked with more claret than clarity.
Susan Ertz


The Goldbergs

Like a cross between "The Wonder Years" and "The Middle" this is a rather amusing series based on the usual dysfunctional American family, but this is set in the 80s.

Worth a look if you're at a loose end.

New MOT Regs

Stricter MOT tests are due today (Sunday) which include the following:

Defects found during an MOT will be categorised as:
  • Dangerous: Fail. The vehicle is a "direct and immediate risk to road safety or has a serious impact on the environment". It must not be driven until it has been repaired.
  • Major: Fail. The fault "may affect the vehicle's safety, put other road users at risk or have an impact on the environment". The car, van or motorcycle must be repaired immediately.
  • Minor: Pass. A defect has "no significant effect on the safety of the vehicle or impact on the environment". It must be repaired as soon as possible
  • Advisory: Pass. A defect could become more serious in the future. "Monitor and repair it if necessary."
  • Pass: The vehicle meets the minimum legal standard.
A wider range of a vehicle's parts will be tested including: the tyres, to check if they are underinflated; the brake fluid, to investigate if it has been contaminated; and fluid leaks, to make sure they do not pose an environmental risk.

I am failing to see much difference in the first two categories; both instances require immediate repair.  Or am I missing something?

NOTE:  Vehicles more than 40 years old, or produced before 31st May 1978, will not need an MOT.

Still Got the Blues

And so has Maureen who despite losing the FA Cup final (0 - 1 penalty) is bitterly bitching about how Man U deserved to win.  And that's after they didn't even take one shot on goal in the first half?

Sounds like a dull game but very happy for my Chelsea pals.


Want This

Image result for archer book

Just found out that Archer (and not Jeffery) has released a book.  Wonder where they got inspiration for the cover?  Guess what I am after for Christmas?

Image result for archer book

Viz Bits

Letterbocks; I̢۪m lovin̢۪ it!

Fuzz on TV

Just a few things I shout at on the telly when watching Plod shows:

  • Can we come in?  No- and then they barge past...
  • Can I use your toilet?  And then they snoop through all your things
  • We need to see your records.  No.  We can get a court order.  Go on then.
  • Can we have your DNA?  No.  But if you're innocent you've nothing to hide.  Erm, no- you have to prove my guilt as I am presumed innocent at all times.
  • Scene of crime Dibble in designer gear and long hair contaminating the area as they don't glove up or wear protective overalls (American shows are the worst)
  • Rozzer drivers crossing hands when steering- test fail
  • Coppers too short or too fat to pass physical and unable to run after crims
  • Breaking and entering and then using the evidence in court- it's inadmissible as it was illegally procured.

Early Doors

Not that much in it at the start of the season but enough to see that Marquez will be the one to beat once more.  It's nice to so many different riders in the mix for a change and even better that Suzuki are back in the points also.  It's going to be a good year and if Crutchlow can stay on his bike, he will be back in the podium son enough.

1.Marc Marquez (Spa)Honda70
2.Johann Zarco (Fra)Yamaha58
3.Maverick Vinales (Spa)Yamaha50
4.Andrea Iannone (Ita)Suzuki47
5.Andrea Dovizioso (Ita)Ducati46
6.Valentino Rossi (Ita)Yamaha40
7.Cal Crutchlow (GB)Honda38
8.Jack Miller (Aus)Ducati36
9Danilo Petrucci (Ita)Ducati34
10.Tito Rabat (Spa)Ducati24

Up the Corner

Having successfully recovered from Bangkok Beatles on Thursday we are planning to pop up the local for a few gentle beers with our pals. 

We have the Le Mans MotoGP and with the main event due to start at 22:00, we may stand a fighting chance to get to watch it live for a change.  Can't wait.

Part 1 of 2

Getting stuff into Germany from abroad is crazy hard, especially from Thailand/Bangkok.  Customs impound any package or parcel, sit on it for weeks and then it either goes MIA or is returned to sender.

As it's cousin Jan's 50th on Wednesday, wifey had to be extra ingenious in sending a birthday present over and we managed to get one to arrive a couple of days ago.  As we're not sure what the plans are for such a special occasion (turns out they are flying out to New York; very nice) we addressed the parcel to J's work address and it arrived without hitch.  As it should because this one was sent via internal post from Berlin.

The second package could be more testing as it is going out from the UK so hopefully that too will arrive soon and unbroken...

But so far so far and at least there are no Thai/BKK postage marks to delay receipt.

C & H

December 12, 1991

Saturday, 19 May 2018

News Thump

God has rejected America’s latest set of thoughts and prayers following the Santa Fe school shooting, telling them he doesn’t grant prayers for things you can easily fix yourself.
As the latest school shooting saw more students gunned down in a place they should feel safe, God has shocked many Texans by flatly rejecting their requests to do something about school shootings.
God told us, “If your injured buddy Gerry wants to walk again, that’s a prayer I’m willing to listen to, and I’ll give it my full consideration.
“If your loved one is going through a hard time, and you want to find a way to help them, that too, is a prayer I’m willing to hear.
“But, if you’re praying to me in the hope I’ll help stop school shootings, then no – I’m not helping. Because that’s a job for your politicians. I’m here for divine intervention, not because America’s political establishment are too dependent on the gun lobby’s money.
“Look, it’s really simple – school shootings are really easy to fix, just get rid of the guns. Easy. You don’t need me. Gerry needs me, and I’m happy to consider helping Gerry – but you folks calling for me to help with school shootings need to write a letter to your congressman and start voting against the people that won’t make changes to your gun laws.
“You don’t need the Lord, you just need to get off your ass and vote smarter.
“As for President Trump’s prayers, well, to be honest, he hardly ever mentions helping anyone but himself. Right now the only prayers I get from him are those asking me to make sure no-one ever finds the proof of his Russian collusion.
“Don’t worry, I’ve no plans to help with that one either.”

Why the Mystery?

Today sees the Ponce (Harry?) get married to some American TV actress and as per usual, the country formerly known as "Great" Britain falls to its knees in pov-tastic adulation and hero worship.  Millions will watch it live or on the telly and I hope it goes off well and they live happily ever after as with all Disney Ponce and Princess filums.

But I don't get why we haven't been informed as to how much moolah it's costing us, the taxpayer?  Why the secrecy, why the subterfuge, why the cloak and dagger in the shadows mystery?  All we have is guesswork/estimates or assumptions as follows:

"The sum of £32m is being bandied around, curiously rather more than his brother William and Kate’s wedding at Westminster Abbey, which ran to £23.7m. The dress may have cost anywhere from £100,000 to £400,000; £50,000 for the lemon and elderflower cake; £100,000 on the flowers; the extra policing and other security ranging from £4m to £30m; and the sausage rolls for the plebs come to £26,000"

And do we even get a bank holiday out of it?  Do we bollocks.

TInd has a light heated piece on how to modernise the monarchy which is kind of fun...

Well Said

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.
William Feather
(1908 - 1976)

And on it Goes

Texas sees yet another school shoot out and this time 10 more students are needlessly killed.  Reading through the BBC article, I noticed the reference to this being the 22nd such massacre.

But as long as people have the right to carry guns, it doesn't matter, right?

UPDATE:  Solution?  Reduce the number of doors in schools...


Stretching the Truth

Who Cares?

Chelsea vs Man U at Wembley in the FA Cup final this afternoon.  Had Spurs managed to get through I would have been much more excited but quite honestly, I couldn't care less.

If I had to pick one, it will be Chelsea for many reasons.  Most of my mates are Blues fans, they are a London team, they didn't knock us out in the semi final but the biggest reason would be because I can't stand that sour-faced, big headed, miserable twat in charge of Man U.  I'd love Moaning Maureen to fall flat on his face.

Two Years Too Late

I have just found out that English county cricket abolished the coin toss back in 2016 and now want to roll out this decision into Test cricket.  It seems this decision was taken to encourage better pitches and thereby diminish home advantage.

Sorry, but it's as traditional as cucumber sandwiches, real ale and cricket whites.  Keep the toss and carry on as before- I do not agree with this at all.


Removing the toss in the County Championship increased the number of games lasting until the fourth day, with 85% going the distance in 2016 compared to 74% in 2015.  However, it has not led to a rise in away wins. In 2015, before the toss was scrapped, the away side won 45 matches, compared to 33 in 2016 and 36 in 2017.

As I Have Always Maintained

I have long banged on about the lack of coverage for Tottenham on the telly and repeatedly whinged about how even their highlights on Match of the Day are pushed down the order.  Now I have some concrete evidence.  We had the least games televised of the "top six" teams.  And yet we finished 3rd (2nd last year).  How can that be?

Payments to Premier League clubs 2017-18
Clubs (by league position)Number of live UK TV matchesMerit payment (prize money for league position)Total payment
Manchester City26£38.63m£149.44m
Manchester United28£36.69m£149.77m
Crystal Palace12£19.31m£114.31m
West Ham17£15.45m£116.09m
West Brom10£1.93m£94.67m