Friday, 19 January 2018

Ah Ha

Having lost two "Burd of the Year" posts yesterday, the same thing happened just now with today's offering.  But, learning from previous experiences, I coped the post and had another go, which worked well.  Shame about the other two which have completely disappeared for reasons completely unknown to me.

Burd of the Year- 17

Camilla Thurlow – celebrity and activist
You may not have enjoyed it, you may not even have watched it, but you cannot deny that ITV’s dating “reality” show Love Island became a cultural phenomenon this year. Even Jeremy Corbyn professed to be a fan. And one contestant, Camilla Thurlow, gained widespread media attention for her unusual profession.
The 28-year-old rumoured ex of Prince Harry, from Dumfries, works in explosive ordnance disposal (EOD), or minesweeping. EOD also involves recovering abandoned – and unexploded – bombs, shells and grenades. She works for the charity the Halo Trust, the world’s largest humanitarian mine-clearing organisation, made famous by Princess Diana in 1997 when she walked through a field in Angola. Thurlow has worked in Cambodia for 18 months, where there are still an estimated five million unexploded mines, and more recently Afghanistan and Zimbabwe.
She achieved popularity on the show not just for her soft-spoken and sweet nature and romance with a fellow contestant, but for her open discussion of her feminist ideals in the face of some outstandingly bone-headed sexism. She told The Times (who describe has as the perfect millennial icon): “My main worry was whether I’d done the topic justice. It is such a crucial time for us to talk about equality.”

Sussed It

I have finally got the hang of our ferocious food blender for making fresh soups without the need to kit up like I am about to get on a bike.

Let the boiled veggies cool off for a couple of hours and then make up a concentrated batch of soup before adding additional stock to dilute.  Works a treat and even though I say so myself, rather a good result.

Oh Great

A Sunday kick off for Spurs (Southampton away) and a late one at that (local time 23:00).  I hate playing late.

Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus – the elephant

Power Cut

We haven't had an outrage in quite some time but we heard a huge bang yesterday afternoon and our electricity blipped for a second or two.  It caused much aggravation as clocks needed to be re-set, the wi-fi went for a Burton and I lost all my bookmarks on our Kodi box.

Worse, I can't seem to get it to sleep anymore which is a real pain in the arse.  I will have to look at that later and waste more time on something that should be working well.


After the rather disappointing news that Ross' mum had sent our package for Slovenia to Wales, we got a message from the O2s saying it had landed in Izola after all. 

It took under a week to arrive and proves we were right to post it via Scotland instead of direct from here.  Cheaper too.

Anyway, ta muchly to everyone involved in sorting this out, everyone is very happy.

Circa 2014 or So

Having found my lost Xmas pudding (best before 2014 and I am guessing, it's probably older) I tried some last night and it was just fine.  Seeped in booze and then heated in the microwave all it needed was a large dousing of sweetened, condensed milk and I was good to go.  Delish, although wifey nearly barfed.

Not only does she not like the pudding she can't abide that sweetened, tinned milk.  I thin kit goes back to childhood and another time she poured it out of a sauce bottle thinking it was mayo.  That'll teach her to take my stuff.

C & H



Thursday, 18 January 2018

Mark on the Way

Our old mate Mark* who went of to Kazakhstan has just dropped us a line saying he will be in town at the beginning of February.  He will also be bringing along his new burd who can barely speak English, only Russian.

Which is funny as Mark is South African and can barely manage English in the first place. He says he is getting the hang of a bit of Russian and if that doesn't work, they use sign language.

Can't wait to catch up, should be a huge laugh.

*He sold me his Xbox...


Just updated up a "Burd of the Year" post and it seems to have varnished.  Don't you just love IT?

Well Said

If you don't risk anything you risk even more.
Erica Jong

All Change

In anticipation of getting some serious arse kicking on Tomb Raider I have wheeled out a bigger cooling fan into the front room, directly in line with my gaming chair.  It is one of those tower jobbies with remote control and will be just the ticket as I repeatedly get duffed up.

Now that leaves a big hole in the bedroom where the fan originally resided, so we will go looking for a replacement.  I fancy one of those industrial, transportable ones (on wheels) which use a combination of air and water to cool things down.

We'll go and have a look see next week in Bang Na and see what Home Pro/Ikea have on offer.

Going Up

The second floor goes up on wifey's miniature house and these are just some of the pictures of this exquisite masterpiece.  She's lost count of the number of hours she has spent on the project so far but her rule of thumb (when not sawn off or sliced open) is one floor per year.  Looks like she is only half way through.

And yes, she does have dolls houses inside and it is fully lit up with lights at night.

Viz Bits

Roger’s profanisaurus – al dente

Free Beer

Any group of four people arriving at The Corner 93 on Friday, 19th January (so tomorrow) before 20:30 will get a free tower of Chang beer.  For nowt.  As in gratis.  Costing nix/nichts.

We'll be there around 17:00 if anyone wants to make up a foursome.

Going to the John

Why do Americans call a bog "the John"?

(In fact why do they refer to it as the bathroom where burds go to powder their noses?  But that is another pot for another time).

If I were to call a toilet by name, it would be Walter.

Why, I hear you ask?

Quite simple, it would be a Walter Closet...

Oh come on, that was good.  😁

What a Pain

My Kindle was getting overloaded and needed a clear out.  Not because of a memory issue rather as it was getting messy with double books and old titles I wanted to get shot of.  I hooked it up to the laptop, deleted a bunch, added some fresh titles and re-booted.

To find all the old shite still there yet when opening the title, it said "book no longer available".  But the icon was still present- the main reason for the spring clean.

In the end the only way to get it right was to re-set to factory settings and that involved having to re-register, hook up to the wi-fi and so forth.  A massive pain in the arse.

But it's done now and all I have left to do is add my books.  Again.

C & H

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

Well Said

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Ambrose BierceThe Devil's Dictionary
US author & satirist (1842 - 1914) 

Unlucky Toon

Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has ended talks with businesswoman Amanda Staveley over a takeover that could have been worth around £250 million.

It seems that PCP Capital Partners group failed to match Ashley's valuation of the club.

Close but no cigar- the mise(l)ry continues.


The Oatmeal

And Another Thing

Why are players picking the ball up when they have fouled and not letting the oppo have it back?  Deliberate cheating and this too needs to be snuffed out.

No one from the opposing team should be allowed handle the ball at any time.  If they do, give them a yellow and then red.  Again, that'll soon stop the rot.

Slap on the Wrist

Arsehole Whinger has been doing his time in the stands after getting banned for three matches because of how he reacted after the 1 - 1 draw with WBA in the FA Cup earlier this month.

Oh, and he got fined £40 000.

But when you hear what he said, you wonder if that is a fair and reasonable punishment? The referee said:

"As we've entered the dressing room after the game Mr Wenger stood behind us in the doorway and told the West Brom steward to 'let him in'.  He was very aggressive leaning towards me, pointing aggressively at me saying: 'You're not honest' on numerous occasions.

"I replied: 'So you're calling me a cheat.' He replied: 'I maintain what I say, you're not honest.'

"He then said: 'You've done this to us many times before, you're supposed to be professional, you're a disgrace.' He was then ushered out of the room by the West Brom safety officer."

Small wonder our so called professional players act like spoilt kids if this is the example that is set for them.

How often has Whinger done this? 

About time managers (and players) get ht where it hurts.  Deduct points for each incident on a rising scale and donate all fines to charity.  That'll soon shut them up.


Viz Bits

Roger’s Profanisaurus – bladdiator


The German version of the term “Average Joe” is Otto Normalverbraucher, which translates to “Otto normal consumer.”

Top Burds of the Year- 14

Kath Sansom – activism, women’s health
The past few years have seen the “biggest health scandal since thalidomide” blown wide open, and nobody has done more to expose the truth than Kath Sansom. In 2015, after she received a vaginal mesh implant to treat incontinence, she suffered agonising pain and knew something was wrong. She began to do some research online, and stumbled into a world of pain and ignored suffering: what would become known as the vaginal mesh scandal.
As she herself wrote: “It probably needed a journalist to be mesh injured, to provide the final media push needed for the issue to get to Westminster.” Since her surgery and particularly this year, Sansom has used her extensive research and expertise to bring the scandal to light, keeping it in the national news agenda and tirelessly campaigning for awareness via the group she founded, Sling the Mesh.
This October, Sansom spearheaded a cross-party debate in Parliament, and succeeded in bringing the issue enough attention to warrant a BBC Panorama investigation. As her group gains more members by the day, Sansom has also used social media to act as a touchstone of comfort and advice for all the new “meshies”, as the community calls themselves. To the thousands of men and women injured by hernia and vaginal mesh implants, Sansom is more than a campaigner: she’s a lifesaver. And if her activism leads to a full ban on mesh implants, that’s exactly what she’ll be. 

Fecking Firefox

I run both FF and Chrome (far better) for certain sites and always leave tabs open as they bookmark places I am using.

FF always bloody locks up after a day or so's inactivity and it drives me mad.  Why?  Chrome doesn't do it so why does that sniggering fox have to?

And why does FF always have to update every time you close the browser?  What's your other pseudonym, Microsoft?

Double Jam

Were very lucky to get in and out so quickly at Immigration as I wasn't going to bring our old reporting slip as it was out of date.  Fortunately, I thought the bar code may be of help, as it proved to be.

Our second slice of good fortune was that we had both gone in together. I tend to get the chore over as early as possible and do it for the both of us.  Had this been the case on this occasion I would not have been eligible as it was strictly one person and one passport only.


Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's Off to Immigration we Go

Getting to On Nut BTS bang on 10:00 we arrived at Mo Chit in good time to hail a cab which dropped us off at Department B of the Immigration offices a scant hour later.

We picked up our queue tickets, with wifey getting 296 and me on 328 (how can that be, we were behind each other, how can there be such a huge difference?) and tentatively looked inside our room to see what the dreaded electronic queue counter was displaying.


Arse, no chance of getting in before lunch which starts at midday for an hour for everyone- including all staff.  We settled in for a long wait.

At 11:30 a young officer announced that anyone with just one passport (many couriers are used with multiple documents), a completed form and their old reporting slip could queue separately but we weren't sure if that applied to us as we had left the country in between and our slip was out of date.

She advised us that was not a problem and invited us to join the rapidly increasing line of people.

We got seen without hitch, got our stamps and were out of the building at 11:50.

Never been so lucky before and I doubt that will ever happen again.

Way OTT on OT

Khun Ayr came back to see us yesterday after a few weeks off over the Christmas period.  She arrived fifteen minutes early and I expected her to be gone by the time I got back, which was after a quarter past one.  She is meant to do only a couple of hours.

She was still there when I got in. She has blitzed the place leaving only me as the most messy bit in the apartment.

On Your Marks

This came through to us yesterday. 

What is spooky is that we have just sent in our returns (as do most people, the deadline is the end of this month) and so if you aren't on the ball, you could so easily be conned.

If you get something like this (notice the complete absence of our personal details aside from "ktelontour") please do not comply as you will get stiffed.

19:04 (14 hours ago)
to me
Hello ktelontour,

•»We are pleased to confirm that your claim form has been
successfully submitted.

•»Your unique claim reference is HMRC12931912470

Refund Amount:
 552.79 GBP

Click here and follow the instruction in order to get your refund today.

•»For your security, you must review by Ian 18th 2018 (day limit).

•»Thanks For understanding,
•»Kind Regards,
•»Issued by HMRC-Team. support office.

Trumpet, The Least Racist Person

Good for the The New York Times on the following piece:

Donald Trump has been obsessed with race for the entire time he has been a public figure. He had a history of making racist comments as a New York real-estate developer in the 1970s and ‘80s. More recently, his political rise was built on promulgating the lie that the nation’s first black president was born in Kenya. He then launched his campaign with a speech describing Mexicans as rapists.
The media often falls back on euphemisms when describing Trump’s comments about race: racially loaded, racially charged, racially tinged, racially sensitive. And Trump himself has claimed that he is “the least racist person.” But here’s the truth: Donald Trump is a racist. He talks about and treats people differently based on their race. He has done so for years, and he is still doing so.
Here, we have attempted to compile a definitive list of his racist comments – or at least the publicly known ones.

The New York Years

Trump’s real-estate company tried to avoid renting apartments to African-Americans in the 1970s and gave preferential treatment to whites, according to the federal government.
Trump treated black employees at his casinos differently from whites, according to multiple sources. A former hotel executive said Trump criticized a black accountant: “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. … I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks.”
In 1989, Trump took out ads in New York newspapers urging the death penalty for five black and Latino teenagers accused of raping a white woman in Central Park; he argued they were guilty as late as October 2016, more than 10 years after DNA evidence had exonerated them.
In 1989, on NBC, Trump said: “I think sometimes a black may think they don’t have an advantage or this and that. I’ve said on one occasion, even about myself, if I were starting off today, I would love to be a well-educated black, because I really believe they do have an actual advantage.”

An Obsession With
Dark-Skinned Immigrants

He began his 2016 presidential campaign with a speech disparaging Mexican immigrants as criminals and “rapists.”
He uses the gang MS-13 to disparage all immigrants. Among many other statements, he has suggested that Obama’s protection of the Dreamers — otherwise law-abiding immigrants who were brought to the United States illegally as children — contributed to the spread of MS-13.
In December 2015, Trump called for a “a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States,” including refusing to readmit Muslim-American citizens who were outside of the country at the time.
Trump said a federal judge hearing a case about Trump University was biased because of the judge’s Mexican heritage.
In June 2017, Trump said 15,000 recent immigrants from Haiti “all have AIDS” and that 40,000 Nigerians, once seeing the United States, would never “go back to their huts” in Africa.
At the White House on Jan. 11, Trump vulgarly called for less immigration from Haiti and Africa and more from Norway.

Obama As Unqualified,
Lazy and Un-American

He spent years suggesting that the nation’s first black president was born not in the United States but in Kenya, a lie that Trump still has not acknowledged as such.
Trump called Obama (who was editor in chief of the Harvard Law Review) “a terrible student, terrible.
Trump frequently claimed that Obama did not work hard as president.
Trump falsely claimed that President Obama “issued a statement for Kwanzaa but failed to issue one for Christmas.”

Urban America As a Hellscape

He often casts heavily black American cities as dystopian war zones. In a 2016 debate with Hillary Clinton, Trump said, “Our inner cities, African Americans, Hispanics are living in hell because it’s so dangerous. You walk down the street, you get shot.” Trump also said to black voters: “You’re living in poverty; your schools are no good; you have no jobs.”
He frequently offers false crime statistics to exaggerate urban crime, including about Oakland, Philadelphia and Ferguson, Mo.
He is quick to highlight crimes committed by dark-skinned people, sometimes exaggerating or lying about them (such as a claim about growing crime from “radical Islamic terror” in Britain). He is very slow to decry hate crimes committed by whites against dark-skinned people (such as the killing of an Indian man in Kansas last year).

Minorities As Uppity
and Ungrateful

He frequently criticizes prominent African-Americans for being unpatriotic, ungrateful and disrespectful.
He called Puerto Ricans who criticized his administration’s response to Hurricane Maria “politically motivated ingrates.”

Friendliness with Proud
Racists and White Nationalists

He called some of those who marched alongside white supremacists in Charlottesville, Va., last August “very fine people.”
After David Duke, the former leader of the Ku Klux Klan, endorsed him, Trump was reluctant to disavow Duke even when asked directly on television.
Trump hired Steve Bannon as his campaign head and later White House chief strategist. Under Bannon’s leadership, the website Breitbart madewhite nationalism a central theme. It featured a section, for example, on “black crime.”
Trump endorsed and campaigned for Roy Moore, the Alabama Senate candidate who spoke positively about slavery and who called for an African-American Muslim member of Congress not to be seated because of his religion.
Trump pardoned – and fulsomely praises – Joe Arpaio, the Arizona sheriff sanctioned for racially profiling Latinos and for keeping immigrants in brutal prison conditions.

Denigrating Native Americans

In the 1990s, Trump took out advertisements alleging that the “Mohawk Indian record of criminal activity is well documented.” At the time, he was fighting competition for his casino business.
In a 1993 radio interview, he suggested that Native Americans in Connecticut were faking their ancestry. “I think I might have more Indian blood than a lot of the so-called Indians that are trying to open up the reservations.”
In a November 2017 meeting with Navajo veterans of World War II, Trump mocked Senator Elizabeth Warren as “Pocahontas.”

Other Assorted Racism

Trump has trafficked in anti-Semitic caricatures, including the tweeting of a six-pointed star alongside a pile of cash. He has also been reluctant to condemn anti-Semitic attacks on journalists from his supporters, and he echoed neo-Nazi conspiracy theories by saying that Hillary Clinton “meets in secret with international banks to plot the destruction of U.S. sovereignty in order to enrich these global financial powers, her special interest friends and her donors.”
In a White House meeting with a Korean-American intelligence analyst briefing him on Pakistan, Trump wondered aloud why she was not working on North Korea policy.
Trump once referred to a Hispanic Miss Universe as “Miss Housekeeping.”
At a June 2016 campaign rally, Trump pointed to one attendee and said: “Oh, look at my African-American over here. Look at him.”